Rant.

Yesterday was a hard day, and in a moment of desparation, I Googled all sorts of alternative diagnoses, hoping I would find one that explained my son's symptoms better than autism. Didn't find it. But, in the course of Googling "autism overdiagnosis" I stumbled across a comment to an article in which a man basically accused parents of autistic kids of being lazy and wanting "the system" to care for their kids (through social services) rather than doing the work of parenting. Then more comments like this from people who agreed with him.

It boiled my blood to read this. All the parents of autistic kids I know work their asses off every second they spend with their kids, and much of the time they aren't with their kids, too. The endless research and wrangling with insurance companies and therapy agencies, the numerous therapy appointments, the evaluations, setting and re-setting goals. And then the biggest part--functioning as your child's full-time therapist during all his waking hours with you. By necessity, we pay much, much more attention to our kids than do parents of typical kids. At playgroups, other parents have the luxury of sitting and chatting with each other while their children play. We, on the other hand, have to be eternally vigilant in order to redirect our kid from over-stimulating, repetitive activities, or to encourage them to interact with typical peers. I could go on and on about how being a parent to an autistic kid is much more labor-intensive than is being a parent to a typical kid.

I wish there were some sort of show, like Wife Swap, where assholes like that guy could have the experience of parenting an autistic child for one week. Except I wouldn't trust my kid to get within 20 feet of a monster like that, who is angry about--what, exactly? His tax dollars going to public services that he doesn't benefit directly and immediately from? You live in a society, bud. Accept it.

Another attitude that irks me is one a friend w/o kids actually voiced to me. "I don't know how I feel about diagnosing kids." It's a convenient attitude to take if you don't have kids, or don't have a kid who is acting in really disturbing ways. If you do, you are desperate for someone to tell you what the hell is going on, and to try to figure out a way to help your kid at a time when his brain is still developing and there may be a chance of changing those neural pathways toward the good. Labels are helpful because they give you some sense of direction, and because insurance won't pay unless you have a label. So, yeah. I'm all about diagnosing kids. For me it's not an abstract or philosophical issue.